As I sit here and write this, 4 years has passed since Heather was born still, yet I remember everything as if it happened yesterday. I would like to share my story with you. It is a very sad tale, that has a very happy ending.
It all started when my husband, Tom, and I decided to start our family. I became pregnant rather easily and thanked god for that miracle because I know of so many people who had a hard time getting pregnant. I felt very fortunate and was very happy. I remember my first OB appointment, it was on December 5, 1995 and the doctor told me that my due date was July 25, 1996. I am a school teacher, so this worked out beautifully. I could work until summer vacation and have a few weeks to relax before the big day.
The weeks and months passed rather slowly, mainly because I was so looking forward to being a mom. I had a great pregnancy. I never had morning sickness and I didn't gain a lot of weight. Toward the end of my second trimester, I noticed that I was swelling a bit and I mentioned it to my doctor who said that was normal during pregnancy. He told me to put my feet up whenever I got a chance and that should help the swelling. It did for a few weeks, and then I noticed that some of the swelling never went away. My hands, ankles and my face were all retaining alot of water. I went to see the doctor April 8th for a normal checkup and I showed him my hugely swollen ankles and he, again, didn't seem too concerned. I had only gained 12 pounds up until this point, so he just shrugged it off.
The week of April 8th was Easter break, so my mom and I went to Toys R Us and registered for the baby shower. My husband came down with the flu during this time, so on Friday, April 12th, when I started throwing up, I thought I had the flu also. I was sick all weekend and by Monday, I had intense pain in my abdomen. I assumed it was from all the vomiting, but I called the doctor anyway, just to be safe. He believed that I was having the pains from being sick and told me to take Mylanta. I did and it did not help. Later that night, I was having a very difficult time breathing, so I thought it best to go to the hospital.
By the time I got there, my pains were so severe that minor bumps in the road had me screaming. The nurse in the ER took my blood pressure and it was really high. I then realized that I had preeclampsia. I am an avid reader and had read everything about being pregnant. I knew my baby was going to have to be delivered and I was glad that I was at least 26 weeks pregnant because babies after 24 weeks usually survive. What I never expected to happen was hear that my baby was already dead and that is exactly what I was told!! Sometime during those last few days of being ill, my baby passed away inside of me and the only way for me to survive was to get the baby out of me.
They wanted to try a natural birth, so they gave me some medicine and broke my water. Then they waited to see if it was going to work. Well, it did and at 7:00 A.M., Monday, April 16, 1996, I delivered my stillborn daughter in a wheelchair on the way to the delivery room. We named her Heather Marie and we were very sad and shocked by what happened, but thankful that I survived. My nurse told me that if I had waited until the morning to come in, I would have died. We weren't sure what to do. Everyone asked if we were going to take pictures, but that seemed weird to me. I am so thankful that I took everyone's advice, because we now at least have pictures to remember her by. I would like to show you what a beautiful baby she was. She had dark hair and a face that looked just like her daddy's!
After I delivered Heather, I heard the worst thing that I could hear. All of my doctors told me not to get pregnant again! They said that I would most likely die the next time. The only thing that kept me going after Heather was looking forward to the next pregnancy and than that was taken away from me. I have never felt such grief before. And then, an angel appeared in the form of my sister-in-law, who offered to carry my babies for me. This was such a weird offer, but it was one that we seriously looked into and I thank god everyday, because I now have beautiful twin daughters and it feels so good to be a mom, finally!!
Please go to the next page to read about the surrogacy and then take a look at the link for the twins' page!! They really are amazing.
